Cub Scout camp anxiety affects many children, but what happens when it’s your own child and you’re also the leader? A few weeks ago, I wrote about my concerns regarding my 9-year-old son Thomas and his cub scout camp anxiety about sleeping away from home at Cub camp. Well, we’ve completed the camp, and I promised an update. Spoiler alert: dealing with cub scout camp anxiety as both a parent and leader challenged me every bit as much as I anticipated, and I still question whether I handled it perfectly.

The Week Before: Cub Scout Camp Anxiety Takes Hold

The entire week leading up to camp, Thomas barely slept at home. His Cub Scout camp anxiety was in overdrive – he was in a constant state of panic about having to sleep in a tent with his fellow cubs. By the time we arrived at Walter Davies Scout Camp & Activity Centre in Stoke Poges, I knew we were in for a rough ride.

Night One: Cub Scout Camp Anxiety Wins

At half past ten on Friday night, just as I’d predicted, there was a little visitor to my tent. Thomas couldn’t cope with sleeping in his tent with his mates. His Cub Scout camp anxiety peaked – he panicked and freaked out, and frankly, his reaction didn’t surprise me. After he spent a whole week sleepless at home, I made the call: “Come and sleep in my tent.”

He slept like a baby until half six in the morning. Success? Well, sort of.

Saturday: When Scout Camp Anxiety Gets Worse

Just when I thought we might have turned a corner and Thomas might try sleeping with his friends on Saturday night, disaster struck. The cubs discovered a hornet’s nest near their base camp, and several of the children got stung. Thankfully, the hornets spared Thomas, but witnessing the incident sent his scout camp anxiety through the roof. (If you’re dealing with similar camp anxiety issues, the Scout Association has helpful resources on mental health support for children at camp.)

His anxiety became paralyzing – he became paranoid about getting stung, refused to participate in activities, and wanted to go home immediately. As a leader running a base and teaching cubs, I couldn’t just pack up and leave. So I had to persuade him to stay, but the compromise was that he’d stick with me for the entire day instead of joining his fellow cubs.

The Knock-On Effects

Having Thomas shadow me all evening meant I missed one of my favourite parts of scout camp: the evening campfire. These moments of sitting around the fire, chatting with other Leaders and Scouts, networking, and just recharging batteries are precious to me.

But by half past eight, Thomas was exhausted and ready for bed. I thought I could settle him down and then sneak back out for some adult conversation around the campfire. That plan lasted exactly as long as it took for me to unzip the tent – he’d wake up immediately. By 10 o’clock, I gave up, texted the other leaders to explain, and settled in for the night.

The Morning After: Second-Guessing Everything

Sunday morning brought reflection and, inevitably, self-doubt. Thomas survived the camp – he was off playing with inflatables on the Camping field, happy as anything. But he never slept with his mates, never even tried on the second night.

I found myself in conversations with other Scout Leaders, asking what they would have done. The responses were mixed. Some suggested I’d been too soft, asking whether I would have made the same allowances for any other cub. “Sometimes you need to be harsh and put your foot down,” they said.

The Dad vs Leader Dilemma

Here’s the thing that’s been eating at me: I was wearing two hats that weekend. As a Scout Leader, perhaps I should have been firmer, encouraged more independence, treated Thomas exactly as I would any other struggling cub. But as his dad, my priority was his wellbeing and keeping him at camp rather than having my wife drive out at midnight to collect a distressed child.

Was I right to let him sleep in my tent? I honestly don’t know. What I do know is that the alternative – Thomas having a complete meltdown and going home – felt worse. At least this way, he experienced camp, spent time outdoors, and came away with some positive memories, even if they weren’t quite the ones I’d hoped for.

Lessons Learned?

I’m still scratching my head about what, if anything, I did wrong. Different leaders, different approaches, different opinions. Some would say I was too accommodating; others might argue I found a practical solution to a difficult situation.

What I’ve realized is that sometimes there’s no perfect answer when you’re trying to balance being a parent and a leader simultaneously. You make the best decision you can with the information you have, and you hope it works out. For additional support with children’s anxiety, Anxiety UK offers helpful resources for parents dealing with these challenging situations.

Over to You

If you’re a Scout Leader who’s ever brought your own child on camp, I’d love to hear from you. Have you faced similar situations? How did you handle the balance between your leadership role and your parental instincts? Did your child want to sleep in your tent rather than with their peers?

I’m still working through whether my approach was right or wrong, so any insights from fellow leaders would be genuinely appreciated. Because one thing’s for certain – this probably won’t be the last time I face this dilemma.

Thomas may have survived his first proper scout camp, but I think I learned just as much as he did – even if I’m still not entirely sure what those lessons were!