I’m a Scout Leader at 1st Old Woking in Surrey. I recently posted in 1st Facebook Scout Group about an amusing things Scouts say. I asked the group to share similar experiences they had with their young people. It went down really well and there were lots of funny comments posted by other leaders on the subject.


This prompted Mark aka Big Man in the Woods to contact me and ask if I would like to guest blog on his page. I’ve known Mark for a couple of years now through Facebook. My first interaction was when I entered a competition on his page and won! My prize was a Dragon fuel stove with fuel, something I still use to this day. Ever since then I have followed his pages and blogs, talking with him on an occasions about Scouting and life in general, which is how I’ve ended up writing this blog and I’m very happy to contribute.

I’ve been a leader now for just over 4 years. In that time, I have had the pleasure of meeting lots of young people from different sections and groups across the scouting family.  One of the things I enjoy about Scouting is the engagements we get to have with young people. We get to see them in an environment that shows sides of their personalities that Schools, and sometimes even parents, don’t often get to see. These situations and environments can really bring out the best in young people and gives them opportunities to express themselves in different ways to their normal day to day lives. One thing I find amusing with them, is there ability to (mostly!) be honest about things in a carefree manner, especially in the case of younger members; Beavers and Cubs, I’m talking to you! They usually have no reserves in saying things how they see it and tend to not hold back when it comes to good old blunt honesty, most of the time it is innocent, yet so funny!


This prompted me to share one of the funniest things one of my Scouts said to me, and the response I got from others was fantastic. Even after 48 hours, people are still sharing their stories and comments. So, I will begin by sharing my initial post and then I have picked out some that I found particularly amusing. My post was as follows:


Scout: Will, you don’t have a girlfriend, do you?

Me: No, mate

Scout: Or a wife?

Me: Nope

Scout: You should take my mum for some spaghetti

Me: I don’t think your Dad would be too happy about that

Scout: I don’t think they like each other anymore

Me: What makes you say that? (Start mentally preparing to comfort scout)

Scout: Well, they were arguing the other day and she called him a b*****d.

Me: They’re fine, mate

I have picked out some at random which really made me laugh. I would post all of them if I could but there are far too many! If you would like to contribute your own, then please feel free to add them to comments section of this blog or search the post in 1st Facebook Scout group and add them there. Enjoy!


Cubs say it’s okay to talk to the bus driver when driving if they are blind and you are telling them where to go”

Rob : canadian canoe

One scout sitting in a Canadian canoe looking across at another in a kayak and asks me…

“…but don’t their legs get wet?”



My fave was when doing My Faith badge, and I asked if they knew what faith/religion they were. One Cub said, “I know I’m a scouser, is that what you mean?” No Charlotte, not quite…”


Scout: skip is your husband tall?

Me: I don’t have a husband

Scout (looking disapproving): hmm I see

Ed : We can get married

6yr old male beaver – “Ed, who’s your beaver?”,

Ed- “no one”,

Beaver- “who’s your wife?”,

Ed- “no one”,

Beaver- “who’s your girlfriend?”,

Ed-“no one at the moment”,

Beaver -“it’s OK, when I get older, we can get married”.

Imogen: Checking the time

*Me checking the time on my phone*

Cub: tell your boyfriend I say hi!

Me: oh, we’re not going out anymore



On a Scout cooking competition, in patrols. One patrol has two older Scouts in it, a boy and a girl, both 13. I walk over to see how they’re getting on, and haven’t said anything when the boy comes to me and says:

“Women. They’re so demanding!”


Here’s Big Man in the wood’s  favourite…

Melanie: Oak Tree

Towards the end of a week-long summer camp…

Scout: Mel, it’s been a really good camp, hasn’t it? Having toilets this year has been great.

Me: Yes, it has, but we had toilets last Summer Camp too.

Scout: Did we? I never saw them!

Mel: You never saw them?! What did you do about…? you know…?

Scout: I just wee’d in a bush.

Me: But what about number 2s?

Scout: I just waited until I got home”

Evelyn: “With the beavers thinking of ways you can keep fit. All the usual suggestions of walking more, playing a sport, walking the dog, Dog walkingrunning and one beaver shouts out “how about dogging” she was getting jogging and walking the dog mixed up”




Greg: “I once had a parent come to me a bit concerned because her son was calling me “Hot guy”, which lead to immense laughter amongst my fellow leaders as I blushed with embarrassment and explained that my nickname was actually “Hawkeye”

Do you have any funny stories of things Scouts have said or youve over heard them talking about? Comment below if you have any comments.



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